And the Oscar for best IT spoof goes to…

89th Oscars imagined with tech twist

Technology has become one of the dominant forces shaping our culture, but what if our society was so obsessed with IT that all of our most critically-acclaimed movies were directly influenced by computers, software, and algorithms? The staff at IT World Canada is looking at the Oscar nominees for 2017 and imagining what it might be like if these movies were made in that alternate reality.

Hacker’s Ridge

CIA hacker recruit Desmond “Troll” Doss signs up for the new cyberwarfare division of the American military but refuses to participate in black hat hacking. He insists on only providing tech support to his colleagues and is eventually sent into the cyber field of battle without so much as antivirus software to protect his computer from malware.

In a futuristic world, a family of eight lives in one of the last remaining areas of untouched wilderness, with no technology or social media presence. But when a crisis hits and the family’s mother dies, the father and his six children are forced to re-enter society and learn how to use technology. The children, upon discovering how great Facebook is, are upset with their father for keeping them from the “real” world all their lives and decide to go live with their grandparents. They eventually realize that they miss the seclusion, and compromise with their father by living on an internet-equipped farm. (Photo by Erik Simkins – © Bleecker Street)

It’s the early 1920’s and Tewt Thamander is a “robologist” trying to transport high tech AI robots to a designated place where they could be safe from the authorities trying to capture and destroy them. Robots are banned in this world because of the threat they pose to high-level exec jobs. But the robots escape from Tewt’s clutches and wreak havoc before he can capture them again, which draws unwanted attention from both regular citizens and the robot management police.

After the sudden death of his wife due to cancer, John Wick discovers one last gift from her. An email with her last wishes for John and a note imploring him not to forget how to love. She also leaves several videos and photos that John had never seen before. But John’s mourning is interrupted when his story catches the eye of a sadistic Russian hacker Yosef “Anonymous” ITsov who breaks into his computer and encrypts everything, setting John on a path for revenge.

A 1976 historical drama/musical starring Ethernet inventor Robert Metcalfe and Emma Stone as an aspiring couple who fall in love with Local Area Networks. When both characters are struggling to connect their PCs together, Metcalfe makes the bold prediction his LAN invention will become something called the Internet and be wildly popular. Twenty years pass and Metcalfe’s prediction is ridiculed by Millennials, so Stone’s character decides to throw him a lavish party in the Hollywood Hills to cheer him up. After the party, the two take a long walk where they talk about why 3Com’s Palm device ultimately failed.

Apple Arrival

A behind-the-scenes dramatization of Apple CEO Tim Cook’s repeated attempts to present the world-changing nature of Apple’s latest gadget in a way the average consumer will understand.

Hidden Deployments

A team of women figure out a one-click way to implement an enterprise resource management (ERP) suite at a multi-million dollar corporation. Men still get all the credit.

A 2016 American drama film starring Casey Affleck and Michelle Williams as two diehard Manchester United fans living in a small town in Massachusetts surrounded by crazed New England Patriots followers. The town starts to turn against the two after word comes out that Manchester United would be playing an exhibition game at Gillette Stadium, home of their beloved Patriots. The mere thought of a soccer team playing in a football stadium incites the town’s rabble and leads to a dangerous situation for the couple. They decide to soothe the angry crowd with the Manchester United theme song “You’ll Never Walk Alone” by Gerry & The Pacemakers. The crowd then chants the Patriots fight song “Let’s Go Pats” in unison to quell the couple.

Three hackers begin moonlighting as security guards at a bank to earn extra cash. At first this is easy, and they are often goofing around and slacking off, but every month during the full moon, moonlight shines on a statue in the center of the bank and weird things start to happen. At first, these three hackers just think the bank is being hacked, but soon they find out they are sorely mistaken. M. Night Shymalan meets Night at the Museum in this horror comedy flick starring Seth Rogen, James Franco, and Michael Cera with Rob Lowe playing the statue demon moonlight monster.

In the sequel to blockbuster sleeper pick “Moonlight”, James Franco, Seth Rogen, and Michael Cera star as three hackers who were killed and sent to hell. After years of misery, they figure out that hell is just like a bad video game, and try and hack their way out. The twist: they’ll need help from the moonlight monster who sent them there: Rob Lowe.

In this climactic ending to the most popular movie trilogy of all time, James Franco, Seth Rogen, and Michael Cera have to fight the robotic lion that they created with their hacking abilities to escape hell. But how do they hack the very thing they created? Featuring cameos from everyone who has ever been in a James Franco and Seth Rogen movie as different cliche hacker characters, including fan favourite Rob Lowe as the moonlight monster who started it all.